Why do you think I'm to blame?
So you're a woman who's been lied to. Is that more important than family?
PREVIOUSLY ON "UMBRE"
I can't be with anyone else than Gina.
It never sunk in what it's like, being married to a mobster.
He said I'm an accessory, and Chuckie will be left all...
-So, when are we leaving? -You're not coming.
How come you're taking Relu along?
Like I can go make demands on the Spanish?
If you keep lying all the time...
And then you're honest once...
Who's gonna believe you then?
If it's not too much trouble, we've got a sting op to set up.
It's my son's birthday. Thought I'd surprise him.
I'mma kill you myself!
I've been calling you all night.
I couldn't pick up.
Take these. Take them now.
Where's Chuckie?
Gina...
Where's Chuckie?
At a friend's.
Call the cops. It's the easiest way.
Gina... Gina !
Call the cops.
Did you...
Are you mad? No, Relu, I didn't...
Then call the cops.
I was in the shower and he...
He snuck in, he wanted to apologize.
And he climbed into the tub with me.
Maybe if I was butt naked when I apologized,
things would've been different now.
And he slipped.
-Then call the cops. -I can't call the cops!
Because he didn't slip?
Dunno.
Dunno. Don't know anymore.
Delete those calls you made to me.
Is there somewhere you can go?
Gina, is there somewhere you can go?
Get me some bleach.
And pack your things.
Don't forget anything.
Gina...
Make sure you take everything.
You...
...take good care of him.
CINEMATOGRAPHER
SET DESIGNER
COSTUME DESIGNER
EDITOR
MUSIC PRODUCER
EXECUTIVE PRODUCER FOR HBO EUROPE
PRODUCER
EXECUTIVE PRODUCER
FOR HBO EUROPE
WRITER AND DIRECTOR
No need to stand on ceremony.
Where's the cargo ?
Where's the cargo ?!
This is it.
Three balloons?
That's the cargo ?
Three colored balloons. And DJ lights to boot.
It's my son's birthday. Thought I'd surprise him.
You've gone viral, my boy. You, and the Romanian Police.
I don't know what happened.
My intel was solid.
Your intel was solid?
What intel, Emi?
That a very dangerous organized crime group was bringing in 3 helium balloons
from the Republic of Moldova? Hm?
-Cocaine, worth in total... -Lad.
Do you know the story "The Emperor's New Clothes?"
About the emperor who strolled in the palace yard butt naked
while everyone praised his slick outfit.
Until one day, a child told him: "Mister, you're butt naked."
The Emperor figured that they took him for a fool.
But you know what he did?
Kept walking, head held high. And why?
'Cause he was too ashamed to admit it.
That child is me, Emi, and I'm telling you
"Heads up, pops, you're butt naked. Not a stitch on."
What's that? You totalled up your wins these last three months?
One balloon, plus one balloon, plus one balloon?
Three balloons. Jackpot! Brilliant.
-My resignation. -Huh!
Resignation?
Emi, lad...
Walk me through this.
So, you blow 200 grand of the taxpayers' money.
You get egg on your face, and ours, for all the world to see.
And now - what?
You figure you can just turn tail and go?
No dice, buddy.
You're gonna stay in the basement, glued to your chair.
Sniffing the mold in the damp for the next twenty years.
And churning out Excel tables.
And listen here to unky, for the cherry on top:
you'll get to squirm with envy watching more competent agents
wrap up this investigation.
There's nothing to wrap up.
It's done. Over with.
It's over with, eh?
I thought it 'over with' myself.
Until I got this call, that is.
-He can come in. -Yes, Mr. Andronache.
-What's the meaning of this? What?! -Emi, sit.
Now.
We're flying to Spain today at noon.
I'll be going with Nicu, the Captain's brother.
Full names.
Nicu - Nicolae Savescu. The Captain - Alexandru Savescu.
For what purpose?
Closing a deal.
Bring 9 million euros worth of cocaine into the country.
Who are you dealing with?
Two Colombian brothers. Salazar.
When's the cocaine crossing into Romania?
48 hours tops, after we close.
The stuff's in the Ukraine. Waiting for the go-ahead.
Where will it cross?
Somewhere away from the cops.
-You can't believe this... -The grown-ups are talking now.
Where will it cross? I need time to put the sting op together.
Boss, you think I don't know how long a sting op takes to set up?
Ask him. We were in perfect sync.
Who else is involved?
Nico.
Nicoleta Savescu, the Captain's and Nicu's cousin.
Sabin Costache. And a crew from Constanta.
Headed by Romeo Stan, aka Romica.
Mr. Oncescu, I want to get this all in writing.
I only talk to you.
No mics, no surveillance.
Those are my terms. Take it or leave it
and I'll be on my way to the airport.
You check in when you get there. And the minute...
The very minute the deal is closed.
Wouldn't have bothered you with anything less.
You cooked up the bluff last night, eh? To get to this point, now.
-Emi. Emilian! -Tell me, I need to know!
What do you wanna know, boss? How to play Cops and Robbers?
A 10-year-old knows that.
Whatever happens, my family's in the clear.
Gina Oncescu, Magda Oncescu,
and my son, Bogdan Oncescu. That, I want in writing.
Mirela, come type up a meeting report.
You can have my coffee.
Not like you'll be getting any sleep from now on anyway.
SPAIN
Aren't Angel and Gael around?
I thought we were meeting at the airport.
Messrs. Salazar got held up.
They apologize for not coming to pick you up themselves.
Do you need anything? Can I crank up the air-con for you?
No, it's fine. When will they get here?
They'll come when they're finished.
I'm to bring you to the villa, where you can get some rest.
When is the meeting?
I don't know. I'm just the driver.
What's up?
We fly in all the way from Bucharest,
and these assholes can't even get off their butts to greet us.
Maybe it's nothing.
It's never nothing with these guys.
I'm counting on you, Relu. Keep your eyes peeled.
Yes, boss.
-I got it. I'll show you to your suite. -Fine.
This way, please.
-Have a good rest. -Hey.
What about my room? Where is it?
We assumed you'd want to share a room.
We're not 12, and this isn't sleep-away camp.
So why would we share a room?
I don't understand. We assumed you'd want to share a room.
Who's this "we"? I thought you were just the driver.
I am just the driver. It's Messrs. Salazar who assumed.
Uhum.
I'm hungry. Have the kitchen send over some food.
Unfortunately, this isn't a hotel. There's no room service.
Lunch is served at 3.
Mother-fucker.
All right. You can go.
I'll leave you to it.
I hope these guys are your friends.
Otherwise...
it's not looking too good.
-Did you clock the muscle? -Ex military, by the looks of them.
Did you see how they cut us down to size?
As soon as we landed.
They didn't come to the airport.
Sent that clown to meet us.
Got us sharing a room, like gophers.
And I bet you, when we do meet, they'll have us sitting on kids' poufs.
Just to put us in our place?
What else?
Relu, if this were a regular business, any old dolt would do it.
Any suit with a college degree.
But you have to be packing like a buffalo,
to be cold-blooded like a python.
But tell me this...
Doesn't it feel awesome, the blood pumping in your jugular?
-Your muscles hard from the adrenalin? -Boss.
When I want my jugular throbbing, I watch a soap, gets me there in 5.
-I'm gonna jump in the shower. -OK.
-Did you meet them? -Not yet, we just got here.
When, then?
-Dunno, we'll... -You'd better find out.
And let me know as soon as you know. You get my drift.
If you want our agreement to stand...
Yes, I know.
Great. Call me.
I'll be right out.
Keep your cool, lover boy.
-You're gorgeous. -Am I?
Not yet. Tell me something first.
-Do you want me? -Yes, I want you. Badly.
Are you sure?
-Yes, I want you. I left the money out. -Never mind that.
I don't want the money. I want to know you want me. Not with that...
...with that. Do you want me, only me?
-What the fuck? -Do you want me?
-Yes, I want you. -You do?
I only want you. That's why I'm here.
Yes, my love, yes...
Yes, my love, yes, yes!
Yes, yes! Yes, my love!
-Thanks. -Back at you.
-See you tonight, yeah? -Yeah, tonight.
-Bye-bye. -Cheers.
And when we were fucking done, she says we gotta drop a pill.
Drop a what? Molly or what?
That's what I said. What the fuck kind of pill, Ibuprofen?!
Why get a pill?
Hiya.
Yes?
I'm Teddy.
And this is my club.
-For real? -Yes.
Whoa! It's super dope. Way to go, congrats.
Thanks.
I don't wanna see you around again.
Why not, bro?
Got something against customers spending money in your club?
-I've got something against dealers. -Who's dealing, bro?!
Don't "bro" me. I saw you slinging last night.
I've seen you hanging around, with Molly, weed...
Who knows what else - and I don't want any trouble.
It wasn't us you saw. I mean, maybe they looked like us.
No, this isn't a negotiation. Deal wherever, just not here.
Sabin, come out here a sec.
-Let's go, come on. -Come on! That's discrimination.
No, it's not.
-Do I look like a fool to you? -You don't.
But maybe you are one.
What's your damage?! Stop!
What the fuck?!
Sit the fuck down before I kick your sorry asses.
-But this fucker started it... -Language!
You don't want me coming round to fuck yo' momma.
Throw them out, Sabin.
Go fuck yourself!
Buddy.
I'm not gonna tell you again.
Come on, Teddy, let's go. Come on.
I don't get it. Why the fuck are you trying to reason with them?
-It's why my uncle wanted you here... -What's with the temper, Teddy?
Let the lads have their beers. Go home, chill out.
They're dealing in here. And I won't have it.
Did you see them? I just see them having beers.
You're in cahoots with them, right?
-No, man, I'm not. -Then why aren't you kicking them out?
-'Cause it's not right. -What do you mean?
Who are they running with?
Who's protecting them?
Bro, I don't wanna get in trouble, OK?
You should go talk to your uncle.
-Nicu sent them here to deal? -Dunno if he sent them.
But they wouldn't've had the balls to, without his approval.
Go on now, go home.
No, man, I've left already.
Yep.
All right, talk later.
Bye-bye.
I'm all out...
-Out of what? -Energy.
-For all this. -All this, what?
For these meetings, day in, day out, on repeat.
Always the same reproaches, the same dissatisfied looks.
-The same accusations. -What am I accusing you of right now?
Nothing, yet.
But I see the looks you give me, and...
I can tell something's bubbling up inside.
After I leave, it's like you freeze 'till I come back.
You're right where I left you, like a statue.
It's like you've become that cliche...
The Romanian wife who thrives on this.
Thrives on what?
Conflict.
This passive-aggressive attitude...
Like, there's never anything wrong, except there is,
and you're a victim, and I'm the bad guy.
For working, not spending time at home, for snorting coke...
Sure, I quit snorting coke, but no matter.
-What matters is I used to, and... -You're right.
Is this a new strategy?
It's not a strategy. I just reached the same conclusion.
Only, I'm dumber, so it took me longer to get there.
-Did I say anything to that effect? -Fine, I'm not dumber, you're smarter.
-Give me a break, man. -I mean it.
That's what I liked about you when we met. Your smarts.
And weirdness.
And that you were nothing like anyone I'd ever seen before.
Maybe you're right, and I'm just a Romanian wife cliche.
Beats me. One thing's for sure, I'm a cliched woman.
A cliched girl.
I like getting flowers once in a while.
I like watching romcoms with my boyfriend, even if he grumbles
that they're dumb. 'Cause, yeah, they are dumb.
I like him wiping my snot when I've caught a cold.
Him holding my hair up when I barf after getting stupid drunk.
-How romantic. -Yes, it is.
Romance isn't just about walks on the beach at sunset.
Or passionate fucks.
It's also about being close when the other person needs you,
even when she doesn't look it.
How long did you spend on that speech?
I hadn't actually prepared any speech. I just figured I'd go.
Then I thought, that's exactly what a frustrated Romanian wife would pull.
A revenge move.
But there's nothing I'd take revenge on you for.
What's that?
I'm leaving.
Where to?
What matters is where from. I'm leaving this place.
I don't know if it's because we come from different worlds,
or 'cause we blame each other for losing the baby, or just...
Magda, where are you going?
Do you know what I did for you?
For the baby you lost?
Do you know what I did?
I found the guy who caused the accident and I let him die in front of me.
When I could've saved him. I did that.
And you did that for me?
You did that for me, or for you?
For that hate that moves you, when nothing else does anymore.
When did hate ever save anything? Instead of...
Instead of coming to me - holding me - when I needed you so much...
Magda...
I loved you. I loved you and...
What a cliche!
We used to make fun of cliches.
Hey, not that way.
That way.
-Sir, would you like a drink? -Brothers, my brothers!
This is the Romanian Relster.
My sidekick, who mocks cops, like Barca mocks Real Madrid.
He's my right-hand guy, and my left-hand guy, too.
-Angel Salazar. -Relu.
-Do you speak Spanish, Relu? -Only from telenovelas.
-This is my little brother, Gael. -Nice to meet you.
-Nice to meet you too. -Any friend of Nicu's...
-...is a friend of ours. -I... no, I...
-I work for Nicu. -No, no, no.
-Relu's my brother from another mother. -Didn't you have an actual brother too?
Yeah, but my brother's...
...a fucking waste.
-Nicu! So, do you know Nicu's brother? -Yes, of course, he's my boss.
I am his boss.
I am my brother's boss.
-I'm everybody's boss. -Everybody's boss.
-What do you wanna drink? -Thank you, I only drink on holidays.
I don't.
Thanks. Relax.
Relax. We can see that, Nicu.
OK... OK, it's OK.
No problem... It's okay-kay-kay...
Now that my man is here, let's talk business.
-Nicu. -Nicu...
We cannot talk business at a family gathering. Come on, eh?
-What the fuck?! Why? -Why?
I'll tell you why, my friend. Look, you see?
Our mother wouldn't allow it. That's why.
-Let me get her drunk. -Nicu! I'll tell you one thing.
And listen carefully, my friend.
You'll drink yourself into a coma before you get her drunk. Don't worry.
There will be plenty of time to talk tonight.
-Nicu, wanna party? -Party, party.
Why don't we go sit down, and have something to eat?
-Come this way. -Party!
Come, Relu. You're gonna love this.
When's the clown coming? Aren't there gonna be clowns?
-Clown! -Buzz off, kid.
-Clown! -Let me tell you something, son...
-Angel! Gotta taste this, man! -OK, come on, Relu.
Come on! It's gonna blow your mind!
Hey, the kid!
Hey, hey!
Hey?
Son of a bitch.
Nicu, buddy, your man jumped in the water with his clothes on.
He's a peasant. He doesn't know these things.
-Cheers! -Cheers.
Are you Sabin?
Nico! Nico...
Nico! How long has she been like this?
Dunno. I didn't do anything.
-Here's the money. -Did you call an ambulance? Nico!
What? I can't call an ambulance! Do you know who I am?
-Are you mad?! -Call a fucking ambulance and fuck off!
Nico, it's Sabin, Nico!
Can you hear me?
Nico! Come on, Nico!
Nico! Nico, can you hear me?
Nico...
It's me, it's Sabin.
Why would you do this, Nico? Look how beautiful you are, Nico...
Why do this?
Messrs. Salazar are ready to see you.
Ah, Messrs. Salazar!
It's on. Time to party. Come on, chap, showtime.
It's OK? It's OK. Chill.
GINA: RELU, WHERE ARE YOU? PLEASE ANSWER ME.
Welcome, my friends!
-Hey, hey, hello. -Hello.
-Did you enjoy your rest? -Your tequila killed me.
Nicu, bud, never get tequila, which is Mexican,
mixed up with Colombian rum.
-Total no-no. -We don't drink that.
-That's peasant swill, am I right? -Right.
-The Colombian rum, that's where it is. -Right on.
Friends, your mobile phones...
-Stay here, on the shore. -No problem, I turned it off.
No, I'm sorry, you can't do that, no.
-No phones on the boat. -You don't trust me?
No, man, no way. We trust you. It's your phone we don't trust.
Nowadays they can use your phones to listen, even when they're off.
Believe me. OK?
Fine.
Thank you.
Thanks.
All done? Let's go then.
This way, buddies.
-Come. -Boss, why are we sailing out to talk?
-Did we run out of room on land? -Are you afraid of the dark?
Or is it the water? You sure could swim in the pool earlier.
-Party! -Party!
It's time to party!
She was the worst teacher you can have.
Around 50, very mean, but in great shape.
So all the kids hated her, but,
at the same time, you wanted to fuck her.
-Sorry, ma'am. -No, don't worry.
-Our mom doesn't speak English. -Oh, OK.
The kids called her "Squirrel". Great tits, great ass.
Anyway... so this day comes, when we have to take a test.
I didn't know anything, of course.
Who does Geography homework? Come on, what's there to learn?
Mountains and oceans?
-What about the name of this ocean? -This is the Salazar ocean.
So, of course, I'm trying to cheat. I pull my Geography book
from under the desk and I copy every, every word.
But I'm stupid, and I drop the book on the floor.
Bang! Everybody looks at me.
So, "Squirrel" comes to me, takes me outside and she says:
"You are cheating." And I say, "No, ma'am."
And she says "Swear that you weren't." And I say "I swear!"
-And she says "Swear on your soul." -And?
-And... -And?
I said "I swear on my soul."
Oh, Nicu, you're going straight to hell, my friend.
I did go to hell.
After a couple of weeks, I lost my virginity to this lady.
And she was so wild, she almost killed me.
You weren't very good at cheating.
-You still aren't, my friend. -You still aren't.
Nicu! What happened to the shipment we sent you three months ago?
What do you mean? What do you care?
I have two million. I have your money. Two million.
Yeah, we're not asking about the money. We're asking about the shipment.
I have two million for you.
Nicu, Nicu...
We're not your Geography teacher you can lie to. And then fuck.
-What happened with the product? -I sold the product, I got the money.
-I have two million waiting for you. -Boss...
Don't speak unless spoken to. I sold the product, everything is OK.
-Everything is safe. -Everything is safe?
So, if we sell - actually, let's call it a loan,
since we'll be getting paid once you've sold it...
-If we loan you 9 million euros worth? -Everything is safe, my friend.
I sold the product, I got the money. I sold the product.
Everything is all right. I sold the product, I got the money.
Everything, uh? Everything is safe, my friend.
The roads are safe.
The police is in my pocket. I have my eye on everything.
I'm like fucking Sauron. I see everything.
Oh, really?
Yet, you didn't see my grandson drowning in the pool today.
He did, and he helped him out.
What? What grandson?
I thought you said your mom doesn't speak English.
She doesn't.
But she understands it. And she sees everything.
Lucky for you, my son's a national swimming champ
and he was just faking it.
Not that you could've known that.
Hold on, guys. What's this all about?
You say you see everything.
That you're like that character in Lord of the Rings.
But that's not true.
You didn't see a kid that was about to drown.
You didn't see the cops tailing your shipment.
And if it hadn't been for him, we'd all be in jail right now.
How did you find out?
Oh, my dear.
We're part of an enterprise that makes
over one billion dollars a year
across four continents. And employs thousands.
And you're surprised we know what goes on in a country that's...
-How long's the flight, son? -Three hours, mom.
A 3-hour flight away.
Look, Nicu.
You know what makes us, Colombians, the most successful in this business?
Mexico's got drugs, too.
So do the Dominican Republic, Bolivia, Venezuela.
The thing is we're very careful about who we choose to work with.
We don't look at what they say.
We look at what they do. That's our actual investment.
You know what, mate?
Since you came here, you've drunk, you've eaten
and you've laughed.
You've talked a blue streak.
But when it was time to act, you didn't.
He did act.
Relu works for me.
Him saving your son was the same as me saving him.
Nicu...
Answer me this.
Why would I go around my elbow to get to my thumb?
What the fuck's this guy getting at?
What the fuck? Why?
Throw that scum overboard. Let the crabs feast tonight.
Sit down. Sit down.
Here's to you, brother.
It's for you, Mr. Relu.
Thank you, sir.
Where are you, Relu? Why weren't you picking up?
Relu, say something.
I'm coming home.
I really did try, OK? I tried.
I tried.
Oops.
Color me shocked.
I'm going for smokes.
She had a row with...
She wants to get a divorce.
What a shit day.
Good job, Boss.
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